Poor devils...

Client: "I hate the sun and I love locusts. I can turn water into blood!"
Me : "Oh puzuzu... It's so good to see you again!"
Client: "The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing women that they have to wear makeup."

Evil

"IT'S EVIL!"
"It's just a slice of toast."
"It's evil.... I am the bass player for the Ziggy Marley band... It's eviiil....."

Movies

"We went to church on Sunday and begged forgiveness for making X rated movies."

Red

"You've got blood all over your shoes."

Panty

"You know you aren't supposed to have panty hose! Give them to me."

Water trap

"Water sure does strange things when you're trapped somewhere."

Wampires

"I'm back from the dead bitches!" in Minnie Mouse voice.
"Blah blah I love to count!"

Fluids

"She brought a tissue with "semen" on it to prove she was a man."
"What was it really?"
"Phlegm..."

Technical difficulties

"How do you turn on this T.V.?"
"Blow in its ear."

Young hitchhikers

"You know if I would have picked you up hitchhiking when you were 16 you would still be chained up in my basement."

Mean old lady

"You're going to be some bodies dinner."