YO psyche ward!

These are quotes heard from my 40 hours a week working in mental health... some of these are quotes from me some from other staff and some from patients.
No names are used to protect peoples rights. I will not... tell you if it was a patient or a staff member I am quoting...
it's the old saying you can't tell the difference between the staff and the patients.

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Poor devils...

Client: "I hate the sun and I love locusts. I can turn water into blood!"
Me : "Oh puzuzu... It's so good to see you again!"
Client: "The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing women that they have to wear makeup."


"It's just a slice of toast."
"It's evil.... I am the bass player for the Ziggy Marley band... It's eviiil....."

Thursday, August 8, 2013


"We went to church on Sunday and begged forgiveness for making X rated movies."

Sunday, June 23, 2013


"You've got blood all over your shoes."


"You know you aren't supposed to have panty hose! Give them to me."

Water trap

"Water sure does strange things when you're trapped somewhere."

Wednesday, May 15, 2013


"I'm back from the dead bitches!" in Minnie Mouse voice.
"Blah blah I love to count!"

Monday, May 6, 2013


"She brought a tissue with "semen" on it to prove she was a man."
"What was it really?"

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Technical difficulties

"How do you turn on this T.V.?"
"Blow in its ear."

Young hitchhikers

"You know if I would have picked you up hitchhiking when you were 16 you would still be chained up in my basement."

Mean old lady

"You're going to be some bodies dinner."