YO psyche ward!

These are quotes heard from my 40 hours a week working in mental health... some of these are quotes from me some from other staff and some from patients.
No names are used to protect peoples rights. I will not... tell you if it was a patient or a staff member I am quoting...
it's the old saying you can't tell the difference between the staff and the patients.

Thursday, May 14, 2015

oyster mania

Yesterday afternoon I went to the bar at happy hour I always went to after work had ended at the ward. Some one I knew from my twenties at the bar had not aged and had some how become manic. Obscenely manic. Once you learn to diagnose behaviors it kinda sticks. The back of the bar had become the venue. The man had a knife and a 100$ bag of oysters. He WS shucking and jiving like a side show carnival act giving away oysters to who ever would listen to him, give hom the attention he despretly needed. He forced oysters down people's throats making them uncomfortable like anyone manic with no observation of personal boundaries should. Sitting beside me in his court was my old psych staff secretary. She had no idea I was present as far as I could precieve his spell of the oyster was so powerful. He rapid fired poems of rumi and dirty jokes, never allowing anyone to stop giving hom his precious attention, and in return he cmgave them the oysters he had repeatedly yelled he only got for 100$
He recruited other manic people and peolek with addiction issues to follow his mad exchange, making them officers in his mad shellfish army. One man who was obviously his general cleaned up obsesivly, and whole in the bathroom I over heard him responding to internal stimuli telling gthe voices that the oysters where good and that this was a good dance. A damn good dance...
He could however have been just talking gto his penis as some men are apt to do...
I've no idea if he was mani c or if it was drugs... But I've seen this coyote aft before and it never ends well. The humans cut their hands on the shells and kill the coyote.

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Poor devils...

Client: "I hate the sun and I love locusts. I can turn water into blood!"
Me : "Oh puzuzu... It's so good to see you again!"
Client: "The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing women that they have to wear makeup."


"It's just a slice of toast."
"It's evil.... I am the bass player for the Ziggy Marley band... It's eviiil....."

Thursday, August 8, 2013


"We went to church on Sunday and begged forgiveness for making X rated movies."

Sunday, June 23, 2013


"You've got blood all over your shoes."


"You know you aren't supposed to have panty hose! Give them to me."

Water trap

"Water sure does strange things when you're trapped somewhere."