Psychic

"I met a psychic today, who also worked in mental health. He told me that in a past life my name was Arthur, and that I used to dabble in magic and drive a horse cart. He also told me that I am always doing healing for my patients even when I am holding them down and hauling them into seclusion..."

1500 days will do that to any one I guess

"The reason why I'm paranoid or schizophrenic is because I haven't had sex in 1500 days. So I don't want to take the meds because it will decrease my libido."

the turd strikes again

"And there was a well formed turd, just laying right there on the floor. I asked him if it was his and he said no..."

talking to walls

"Hey sugar lips your gas tanks open."

P

"He gave us urin."

round vs. square

"The window is square. But how the fuck should I know? For all I know it could be round."